12:15 a.m. - Sunday, Dec. 10, 2006
there's battle scars on my face and my arms but you still kiss me everyday
I felt so good the last couple of days, the sun was out, (though it is still setting really early, but it does set set really nice some times, (tuesday and wedsday it was really nice) school was getting out (i still have two more classes, and a review sesion) i felt really good, but then all of a suden,i felt really sick, i mean once i took a sick day, and these sick days don't really help me out, i've got to sit here at home with my mom and that's not good for my mental health. (i'm taking two more on monday and tuesday, plus a personal day on wedsnday, and then next month i'll be takeing ten hours of sick time) and all i have to look forwards to is quiting my job, and that's not really going to be that much of a inprovement i mean it will, i don't know if i can take another sumestor and my job, thus i singed up for a crap class, german 101, just so i wouldn't be able to work.
but still the crappy part of it is i'll still be living here.
that's the one thing i would change if i could. but at the same time it's the one thing i wouldn't change. It's the one thing that's keeping me realatively sane. i mean when it's two in the afternoon, i'm sitting here thinking what should i do? and drinking comes to mind, but eh, my parents are home, maybe i can just go to sleep on my own? so i slept all day, from 2 in the afternoon till six in the eveneing.
god i want out of here.
but the thing is seventy-eight percent of the time i don't ming it so much, it's only for those few months when the sun is setting around four in the afternoon, when finals are coming around, that's when thing start getting bad...
so i've spent the last couple of days looking up bands on line. it's been so long since i've had the time to do that, though i really should be studying, but then again i haven't really found anything so maybe i should be studying. i wonder is it possible that pretty much every thing that's come out recently sucks? i highly doubt it, but then again, everything i've heard since hello saferide has pretty much sucked (except shatners cover of the pulp song commone people, the orgnial always didn't sound right to me but his cover, wow!)
i mean is it possible i'm just not into music enough anymore?
cause i'm kind of afraid of that time, i know it's comeing, could it have already pasted? I mean when i'm listening to the radio i'm hopeing to hear something like the rolling stones symathy for the devil, or the smashing pumpkins pretty much anything off of siames dream, but i'm hoping not to hear other stuff by the stones (well, with some exceptions) of the samashing pumkins, cuase once they put out those records, after that point in history they sucked, at least to my ears.
i'm talking matt pinfield era 120 min. not before nor after, and the thing that scares me, is one of my firends was talking about 120 min. and ssid it was cool untill matt pinfield took over it. he's a bit older than me, and that's so scray to me, i mean when i don't like new music? what's the point of living then?
for twelve years music has been the thing i've lived for, the act of getting older would ne a devistating act to me, i know it'e unaboivable but still... lush was the greatest band in the world, not beacuse of the lyrics or beats, but because what they were saying concented with me at a important point in my life. and you know what? i have virtally no lush mp3's on my computer, i've got a couple of songs and that's it. cause by the time napster camre around i had already bought all the cds, imported from europe and so on, i had no more need for them. so it is i've got sixty plus recordings attriubed to weezer and two to lush. (i was really into weezer right about the time napster got big)
and i found cat's my space profile, it's set to private, and that's cool, but it's good to know she's still alive. that's all i really care about. i wish she would write me back once it a while, just to let me know she's alive, but i guess seeing she's loged in today is enough. as for other people, well i haven't found anyone just yet...
np:ozma, battle-scare
their's battle scars on all my gutiars but still i come out here and play
ps. one of my frends at work is thinking of staring a band, and i'd like to be in itm but i really don't like the music he likes...
