12:45 a.m. - Monday, Aug. 21, 2006
i've got the sinking feeling, is eveything allright?
so tomarrow i start school again.
and once again i'm only takeing two classes.
stat 101 and mirco eccon.
and once again, it's so i can keep my job while i go to school.
why i would want to keep my job is beyond me.
i mean for six months or more i've been holding up my hand, saying i want to be laid off! pick me!
and they haven't said yes, noteven when the talk of elminateing my job comes up, then they'll just demote me. even when i tell them i want to get laid off.
my job is just so fucking boring and pointless.
and living here is certainly no picnic since i returned from new york, a horrible place to which i have no intention of returning. ever. sorry grandmothers and uncle.
and the thing is, if i stay here, two more sumesters, i can then get a job with the cencus bearu, which after a year, i can transfer to other places, i'm not sure where i want to go, maybe nashville? portland? i really have no idea. but on the other hand, i'm i manage to stay through this sumester, i've have about 40K saved up, and in reality, isn't that more than enough to move anywhere i damm well please?
i mean i've got a worthless college degree, two dogs, the one car i always wanted to own, and fourty grand in the bank. that's enough isn't it? (even though i'm broke at the moment, that's money on hand, not money avilible to me)
and it's not even the weather that's getting to me, it's been wonderful weather recently, when i rode my bike in to work on thurs, it was mosit is the air, not so wet that i was soaking, but just a little, so when the sweat dripped down it tasted ever so strongly of salt, but it didn't dry up right on my forhead leaveing white marks all over my headphones and such, no it was dripping, but ever so slowly...
nope, it's just my parents.
they are the ones who insisted on my keeping my job, it's my dad who said i can forget about the ten grand my great aunt gave me, (though i did get nine)
god i want to get out of here.
i guess i'll just go to class tomarrow and take it from there.
but i'm so temped to go somewhere, i know it would be dumb, but i've got a few days till i have to pay for the two classes i'm in...
i'm sort of wishing i'd taken cat up on her offer to have me move to washington. i mean i know she would have ditched me by now and so on, but at least i wouldn't be here. but then again, washington isn't somewhere i'd like to live. i mean i guess it would be pretty cool for a year or two in the same way new york would have been cool to live in, but it's not where i want to live. maybe south/north carolina? arkanasa was cool... just so long as it's not here that's what's important right now.
np:jets to brazil, air traffic control
it's hard to be a passenger for me, i'm allways looking down
